We’ve all been there. You meet someone, the sparks fly.
Everything is going perfect, then one day you make a misstep and you feel awful.
As you reconcile your differences, you hear those golden words, “Don’t beat yourself up about this, I love you just the way you are…”
You feel like a million bucks because you, above all others, know the way you are. And to be frank, even you have put in a lot of work to love yourself the way you are.
To have found someone who loves you with all the nuts, bolts and unseen parts is nothing short of a miracle.
You believe this. And feel ten feet taller.
This golden someone is for keeps. So, with the quiet assurance that he loves you just the way you are, you say I DO.
You keep living in this blissful world till one day reality hits you.
You have your first disagreement, and then it comes, “you really should stop speaking to me this way. no one behaves this way… it is hurting our relationship. I am not sure I can deal with this disrespect much longer.” It hits you hard, because this person, who promised to love you the way you are, suddenly cannot stand a certain aspect of you.
I just read somewhere that your real friends accept you just the way you are.
There’s a snag though, relationships turn sour, sadly, because two people who once pledged to love each other wake up one day realizing that there were things they couldn’t keep up with.
“love is large and incredibly patient and is a safe place for shelter…” (1 Cor 13:4,7)
So, while we enjoy having those lovely people who “accept us just the way we are”
To grow, we need another set of people.
Those who hold us to a higher level of accountability and responsibility.
This is a deeper level of relationship. These are rare folk who believe we are more than they see, who know that we can do better and are never okay with where we are.
Who see us walking in error and call it what it is, error. Not whitewashing it and making error look like a season of our lives. Who are so done with our procrastination and pull out our journals and set dates and timelines for us which we know we must stick to. We need them. If you don’t have them, ask for them.
And perhaps, you are newlywed or in a new relationship, or even just part of a group of friends and you are enjoying the “just the way you are” phase. Remind yourself that because you love and are loved as you grow in intimacy with each other there’s always room for more. Keep growing, keep improving, let the Word continually transform you. Challenge yourself to be a better version of yourself each day and step beyond enjoying the fact that you are accepted “just the way you are” to challenging yourself to make improvements to your personality daily.
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me” – Henry Ford